I’ve struggled on and off with mental health issues since before I can remember.
I went to my doctor at 18 because I thought I had the flu; I was sleeping a lot, feeling run down etc etc. She asked me how I was feeling emotionally and I just burst into tears, like right there. She told me that it sounded like I was depressed.
Since then, I’ve seen five different counselors for about eight weeks each. I’ve been on eight or nine types of antidepressants along with some anxiety meds and sleeping pills.
And I don’t know what to tell you, I feel like I should be better. I’m not. I still feel fucking crazy.
I think it’s okay, though. I’m beginning to realise that mental illness isn’t always something that you can ‘get over’.
Sometimes, it’s a massive fucking hurdle that you can’t get over, under or through, so you have to push it along with you until the end of the race.
Can it slow you down? Sure, but not as much as constantly trying to jump it.
You should definitely seek treatment but sometimes there is no ‘cure’.
Sometimes it’s better to learn how to cope with your mental illness than continue fighting it; meds, counselling, CBT, seeing your friends, watching a sitcom. These are all methods of coping with mental illness rather than fighting it.