The Politics of Choosing a Halloween Costume

Every four years, there’s a magical opportunity for pranksters to mock the absolute shit out of the political system and the 2016 election has offered up more than a few opportunities. It’s almost like Donald Trump invested in a costume shop and set up a Presidential run just to sell thousands of badly adjusted wigs… actually, that does sound more realistic.

So if you haven’t decided on a costume yet, why not try these out?


Ted Cruz: The Zodiac Killer

This one’s a bit old for sure but…well, Cruz never said he wasn’t the Zodiac Killer and it seems odd that a political candidate wouldn’t actually come out and deny being a serial killer… suspicious.
Ted Cruz Mask:  This mask does have a sinister look to it but I’m almost certain that’s because he has no eyes, not because he sold his soul to Satan.

Cryptic Message for the Press: This one you could buy online but you can always make your own too; just be sure to include his symbol.

Glasses: The glasses are the key as they turn mild-mannered Ted Cruz into the Zodiac Killer- it’s like Superman in reverse.

Trump’s America

Remember when you were a kid and on Halloween, you’d hide behind a pillow and watch movies about Dystopian futures and you were too scared to sleep. This is just like that… but real.
Trump Mask: The beauty of this mask is that it even looks like Trump is coughing up bile and hatred.

Make America Hate Again hat: Summed up by the seller as a more accurate slogan from the Trump campaign.

Border Wall T-shirt: Beware with your Google searches on this one; Alt-Right groups have taken it upon themselves to make t-shirts to fund the Trump Campaign. If you want something a bit more tongue in cheek, try Mexican Ladder Companies for Trump or The Wall of Shame.


Hillary’s Emails

Blackberry (or replica): Bonus points if you get your aides to smash it up before you get to the party.

Bernie doesn’t give a damn about your emails T-shirt: Alternatively, take an angry old man with you #CouplesCostume

“Secure” Emails: Print off your completely secure emails and hide them about your person; sticking out of your bag, stuffed haphazardly into your pockets, wrapped around your forearms and obscured by your watch.

Ben Carson and his luggage

I don’t think I have to say this here but please, if you’re white, do not darken your skin tone to portray Ben Carson.

Doctor Costume: Just be sure to alter the ID so that people know you’re a brain surgeon.

Stethoscope: Every good doctor needs one and it helps to complete the luggage look.

Overnight Bag: Make sure to wrap the stethoscope around the handles and leave it lying around unattended.


Whatever your Halloween Costume, remember to have fun and stay safe and whatever your political affiliation, remember to vote this November. Need help? Try Vote Smart, a non-partisan organisation dedicated to facts not spin.

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